The Birth of Two Baby Girls: via Planned C-Section.
When I first visited the gynocologist back in early 2020 to begin the process of coming off the pill and trying to conceive, I was so nervous because I had struggled with autoimmune conditions and I so wanted my body to be able to fall pregnant naturally. As I also have PCOS I was told that it could take a year or longer and that after 6 months of trying, I may have to take a medication to increase my chances of conception. I really believe that knowing it could take a long time helped me to relax into the process and would you believe it, I fell pregnant straight away!
I had never given too much thought to how I would give birth, I just knew that I wanted children. In 2018 after years of struggling with inflammatory bowel issues, I had a procedure called a sphincterotomy wherein sections of scar tissue were removed around my bottom and essentially ‘resewn’ with fresh margins (I had struggled with constipation for many years).
When I got pregnant, my OBGYN advised that due to the scar tissue down there, it was very likely that I would tear from front to back and that my recovery would be more difficult if I was to have a vaginal delivery. In truth, knowing this was very difficult. Realising that I couldn’t have that traditional birth moment without significantly damaging my body was tough to digest.
What I also didn’t realise was that from that point on, anytime anyone found out I was going to have a planned C-Section, I was met with a myriad of questions, usually starting with ‘why?!’.
This was when I realised that as personal as this information was, people needed a reason for my choice to have my baby ‘the easy way’.
Seriously infected and extremely painful boob (no secrets here!)
I was met with similar confusion when I told people that I had to stop breastfeeding my baby because of issues with recurrent and serious mastitis (my first hospital stay with that was 6 days). I moved to formula feeding because of my issues with blocked ducts but more importantly because my daughter seemed to be having digestive issues and my milk was worsening them. I won’t share that full story here but let’s just say that knowing that my milk wasn’t ’good enough’ and was ‘hurting her’ simply compounded the horrible feelings of not being a good enough mum that I was already having and made my postpartum blues much more intense.
My second daughter was also born via C-section. This time it took a little longer to fall pregnant and I had a month of false labour and hospital visits before she finally arrived. With my second though I was self assured, stated proudly that I wouldn’t be having a vaginal delivery and that I wouldn’t be breastfeeding (due to trauma surrounding my first experience). I felt more confident and sure of myself in all my decisions and that seemed to make people less inclined to question them (which is absolutely wild).
Of course, as is the way for those of us who have autoimmune challenges, I developed a penicillin resistant staph infection in my C-Section wound and ended up being hospitalised for that when she was only 6 weeks old.
Both of my girls are loved, happy and supported and I couldn't be prouder of what I achieved with having them. Neither of my birth experiences were perfect- the epidural caused vomiting, low blood oxygen etc and the recovery was difficult but the stigma around C-Sections being the ‘easy choice’ was something that I never could have anticipated. What I know for sure though is that people will always question your decisions when it comes to childbirth and parenting. All I can say is to trust your gut, your motherly instinct and do what feels normal and safe for you.
Birth story by Mum, Caroline
Photo’s: Picture 1: After 1st birth. Picture 2: First c-section wound. Picture 3: After 2nd birth. Picture 4: Infected wound. Picture 5: Mum and her 2 beautiful babies.
